There aren’t many nights that I don’t wake up and jot down an idea I have. I keep a pad of paper and pen at my bedside table at all times. I started doing that when I knew there were things I thought about during the night but I couldn’t remember the details in the morning. When I sleep, I sleep. When I toss and turn my mind is churning 100 miles per hour. Too much information? I agree.
Anyway, what ideas and concepts have made it to my bedside idea planner? Well, I can’t share them all in this space, but here are a few:
There is certainly a thirst among baseball people and baseball fans to “get it right”. Replay is popular. Stakeholders want the umpires to get every call correct. I get that. There is a lot at stake. Huge fantasy games have kept fans interested in their fantasy teams with almost the same gusto as they have for the actual team they follow. In the fantasy world there is lots of money and prestige at stake. In the world of reality, there is lots of money and prestige involved for those working for the teams.
I admit I miss the arguments between the umpires and managers and players and managers. Technology and replay have just about put nose-to-nose beefs regarding a called play on the back burner. Only upon occasion do we see a manager kick dirt on an umpire.
So if the goal is to get it right-here is my idea:
I think the offensive team should have a computer chip in their shoes. Every infielder should have a computer chip of a different configuration in each of their shoes. If the offensive chip hits the base before the defensive chip hits the base, the base turns green. The hitter/runner is safe. If the base turns red, it means the defensive chip hit the base first and the batter/runner is out.
Simple, right? Technology at its finest. And I think it can be done. Someday technology will be so sophisticated, chips can be inserted in shoes and safe and out will be moot questions.
I now live in a community that has a central bank of mailboxes. One has to walk or drive to the community mailbox area to get the mail. Where I lived in Illinois, our mailbox was at the corner of our driveway. But we always wondered if the mail had arrived? Solution: put a computer chip inside the mailbox door. When the light goes off in my house, the mail has arrived.
Easy, right? Well, of course, somebody could drive me nuts by opening and closing the mailbox door all day long, but that stunt will get old in a hurry. Eventually, over time the thrill of driving the homeowner nuts will go away. Little mailbox door opens, and mail has arrived. Taking it a step further, there could be a small chip in the newspaper. When the newspaper hits my driveway or your front porch, a light goes off in your home. I love it.
With regard to existing ballparks, I have the following suggestions: install recharging stations in the concourses. People use devices at the game and run out of electricity.
Also, turn down the volume on the scoreboard. People still want to talk to each other without screaming. We can hear the scoreboard. If there are “dead” places in your stadium, fix them. Don’t however, blast everyone else out of the park with such loud scoreboard noise.
For ballparks and stadiums that are not yet built but in the planning stages- I suggest you put an electrical outlet in every seat with a credit card machine. Let the person watch the game on his or her device by paying for the electricity. Also, turn every seat toward the action on the field. Do not have seats that look straight ahead at nothing. And please, reduce the seating to a maximum of 30,000 wide, comfortable seats.
Now on to my concepts. I don’t want to get political with BERNIE’S BASEBALL WORLD, but why isn’t every American citizen registered to vote at birth? How hard is that? Slap the kid on the butt to get him or her breathing, welcome the child into the world, do the birth certificate and paperwork and then give the child a voter registration number. Done. The little person is now registered to vote. When the child is of voting age, it is up to him or her to validate his or her age and address. The person doesn’t have to register. Just validate his or her age and address. He or she is registered and entitled to vote—a birth rite if you will.
And while I’m at making life easier, why do I have to remember every password for every single site I visit on the Internet? Why, why, why I ask you? Use the same password you say.
Well, how about when CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD comes on the screen? I never remember my password. Or those stupid questions they ask to prove that I am indeed, me. Or that I have to prove I’m not a robot. OK, let’s make this one really, really simple. I can’t speak for the rest of the world, but every American should be assigned one password to use the rest of his/her life. He or she owns that password. Just like he or she has a social security number. Nobody seems to mind about that. Give me my own password and let me keep it for all my life. Nobody else can use it. Ever. It really is better than retina or fingerprint recognition/identification.
Now here is where I need your help. I cannot figure this out.
How in the world do I stop unwanted solicitations on my home phone and cell phone? I know, don’t answer the phone if you don’t recognize the number when it comes up on the TV screen or phone screen. But the phone still rings and annoys me. And when I answer, the computer hasn’t caught up so I’m waiting. If I don’t answer I think I’m missing someone important who wants to speak with me. And to that, you say, “They’ll call back”. Are you sure?
The DO NOT CALL lists from years ago didn’t work, Nothing has worked. And I realize people have to make a living. Many work in call centers. I understand that. But why do they have to call me? In one night last week, I could have purchased a new air conditioning system, given money to the Policeman’s Ball, reduced my credit card interest, received a new credit card, had my windows replaced, purchased a solar system for my home and taken a survey about my restaurant and dining out habits. In one night.
I have other rants to get off my chest, but for now, please tell me how to make the calls stop without pulling my phone out of my house and canceling my cell phone service.
NEXT WEEK: REFLECTIONS ON THE BASEBALL SEASON
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